Short stories,

When friendship goes too far (Part 2)

August 22, 2014 Ezer Kenegdo 0 Comments

“What arrant nonsense, Jimi can never try that rubbish with me”.

She put her hand on my shoulder.

 “My dear you have to confront him, nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. Stand your ground; let him know that you won’t take such nonsense. Imagine! A married man going around claiming to have a woman other than his wife as his best friend. My dear, that’s how it starts oh”


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I turned to look at Uju. She smiled as she finally spoke.

 “I’m waiting for Chi to finish. Are you done?”  
She asked.

Rolling her eyes, Chi turned to look at me “see ehn Jesus will not come down to fix this problem for you, even the bible tells you that God helps those who help themselves”

“First of all Chi the bible doesn’t say God helps those who help themselves, secondly Gbemi it starts with prayer. The bible says the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Wisdom is profitable to direct my dear, I can’t tell you what to do, only God can. So you need to....”

“Shebi I said it, madam Pastor. See ehn, I have nothing against praying, but have you ever seen God? Has God ever come down here to solve anyone’s problem? Baby girl take charge oh. You will be there doing holy Christian sister and this woman will take over your home right under your nose”

Chi is right. I can’t afford to waste any more time. I have to take charge of the situation. I have to take charge of it now!

“Thanks Uju, I think Chi is right. This thing is happening here and now, i can’t afford to waste any time, I have to address it now.”

I could tell it was difficult for her to hold her tongue, but as is typical of Uju, she smiled and let it go.

As I drove home, I thought of the events of the past few months and tried to decide how I’d start the conversation with George that evening. George and Bidemi had been best friends long before I came into the picture, a relationship that didn’t seem to respect the fact that he and I were now man and wife. I’d ignored it and truth be told it hadn’t constituted much of a problem until recently. These days it was Bidemi said this, Bidemi said that, they increasingly discuss and decide on things he’s never mentioned to me. Don’t get me wrong, I trust my husband. It’s the devil I don’t trust. It’s up to us not to give him a foothold and this is a foothold if there ever was one.

**********

Clearing my throat ”First of all I’d like to apologise for how I shut you down the other day. I should have at least listened to what you had to say before making my decision”

Smiling Uju set her teacup down. “It’s ok dear, thank you for the apology, but you really don’t owe me one. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and free to make their own decisions. If I may ask, what brought about this change of heart?”

I told her about how Chi had taken her own advice, and how it hadn’t worked out well for her.

“First of all, let me apologise if what I’ll say will sound too Christianese. It’s all I know. The bible says there is a way that seems right to a man, but at the end is destruction. I have no doubt in my mind that Chi thought she was giving you the best advice; after all it’s what she did. But Wisdom without God is bound to fail”

She went on to tell me how she had experienced the same thing with her husband during their first year of marriage, and how it had escalated during the period they fought a lot. He had confided in this friend, sharing his thoughts and feeling with her in a way he had no business sharing with someone other than his wife. She didn’t know what do to, so she did what she always did. She took it to God. She poured out her hearth and pain to Him and asked Him what to do. She prayed until she felt a peace and release to approach her husband with it, believing God had prepared his heart to really hear her. That night when they sat down to talk, even before she said anything, her husband began to apologise. He told her he recently realised how he had prioritised other relationships above theirs and how it had negatively affected their marriage.

“I was speechless; I knew it only had to be God. I didn’t have to say a single word. I thanked him for his apology and offered him my forgiveness. Now I am not saying the same will be your case, but God will fight for your marriage if you completely allow Him to. Don’t get me wrong, you are not absolved of any responsibility, you still have to follow His instructions. So go home. Pray. Lay you thoughts, hurts, fears, concerns at His feet, and most importantly, do whatever He says”

We chatted a bit more, about life, the bakery and her kids.

That was 4 days ago.  Having fully settled all with God, I’m ready to talk to my husband. I can’t tell a lie, I’m mad nervous. A part of me feels like I’m being naggy, but I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do.

“So what did you wanna talk about babe?”

“Hmmm just something that has been on my mind for a while”

“OK?”

“First of all, I’d just like to say I love you very much, and I know you love me too. I trust you....”

“How much do you want?”

Almost choking on my smoothie. “Hahahaha, it’s not about money jor”

“Ehen, ok o. Oya sorry, continue”

“Ok yeah, so as I was saying, there’s something going on that I feel is having a negative impact on our relationship. I would never tell you who you should or shouldn’t be friends with, but as your wife and fellow steward of this marriage, I feel I have the responsibility to point out things that might be negatively affecting it.”

“Fair enough, what is it?”

“For a while now, I feel like your friendship with Bidemi is casting a shadow on our relationship, and it hurts me when you share things with her you haven’t shared with me. I feel like that’s intimacy meant to be shared by us. I know you guys have been friends for years. I’m not asking you to stop being friends with her, but just that there needs to be a realisation that that friendship cannot continue in it’s present form. You are my best friend. I am supposed to be yours, so another woman.

He silently stared at me for what must have been an hour before he spoke.

“I’m sorry. I never realised you felt this way”

He shook his head.

“It’s not even a matter of how you feel, but what is right. You are right, I cannot have the same relationship with Bidemi I did before you and I got married. I guess I it was just easier to default to the familiar when things between you and I started getting rocky. I am so sorry”

Read Part 1

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