I
grasped my chest with my left hand and I tried to steady myself with my right,
as the first jolt of pain ripped through me. I silently gasped for air and
thought to myself, so this is what it
feels like to die, as my knees began to buckle.
“Bidemi!
Oh my God! Bidemi!” Bode yelled as he reached out to grab me.
Maybe
it was the sound of his voice, or the touch of his hand, but in an instant, new
life was breathed into me.
“Don’t
you dare touch me” I said as I regained my footing and my eyes started to sting.
I rolled them back and took a very deep breath. Don’t do it. Girl don’t do it. My initial reaction was bad
enough, I knew I couldn’t afford to show any more signs of weakness, I wasn’t about to cry in front of this man.
enough, I knew I couldn’t afford to show any more signs of weakness, I wasn’t about to cry in front of this man.
“Bidees
I’m really sorry, just tell me how to make it up to you - anything and I’ll do
it”
I
almost laughed. How does someone makeup
for a thing like this?!
I
wasn’t sure what to do. If this were a
movie, I’d be kicking him out right about now, or do I pack a bag and go to .....no!
This can’t get out. The way I see it, I can either begin to deal with this now
or delay the inevitable. Think it’s best to address it now. But am I strong
enough to handle this now? Maybe I need to take a break to gather my thoughts.
Maybe I need to calm down first. Maybe I need too......
“Bidees
say something”
“What’s
her name?” I asked before fear got the better of me.
“It
was Alero.” Came the half whispered reply.
In
a flash I saw red. Whatever pain I felt had been quickly replaced by anger – a huge
amount of it.
“Alero!”
He
remained silent.
“The
same Alero you told me was just a friend. The one you said I didn’t have to
worry about” I said sarcastically, pointing at him. “The one you made me feel
silly over”
“I
know and I’m sorry, so sorry. I promise there was nothing going on between us
then...” Hitting his left palm against his forehead, “what am I saying? There
is nothing going on between us. It was a mistake, a stupid mistake that I regret.
I know saying I’m sorry cannot make up for this. Just tell me what to do to
make up for this and I’ll do it.”
In
that moment, what must have been a million things I could have said to him
raced through my mind. All of which I’m sure I’d regret in the morning. God, help me. You just have to help me.
“If
it means anything to you Bidees, you were right to be concerned and I’m sorry I
didn’t listen to you”
“How
did it happen? – everything, from the beginning”
“Okay”
To be continued ......
Patiently waiting for part 2
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