Today, Otiti was happy. She refused to remember when her mother had died 12years ago and her father had sent her and her elder sister Evih, to live with his sister and mother. She refused to remember trekking miles to school in worn out shoes and torn uniforms because her aunt never let them see a penny of the money her father sent. She refused to remember sleepless nights of soaking her feet in cold water so she could catch up on the school work that hours of working at her aunts' shop after school had made her miss. She refused to remember neither when her uncle had raped her at age 10 nor when her elder sister's boyfriend had raped her 3 years after that. No, today she was happy, looking down at the letter detailing the full scholarship she had been granted to study abroad, she pushed memories of her sad childhood away from her mind. So she got down on her knees to thank her heavenly father..No! Today and forever would be happy days.
***
In her second year a very good friend of hers begun to convince her that boys weren't as evil as she thought. In fact, to prove her point she introduced Otiti to a very nice young man who liked her so much that no sex within the relationship was acceptable to him. But as she sat in that court room, frozen in shock after receiving a 2year jail sentence for assault, she forgot all about 'that'! happy day. How could she be sent to jail for 'assaulting' a man who had raped her?! Where was the justice?! But of cos no one believed she had been raped. It's considered consensual when you are in a relationship with this person.
Her lawyer couldn't look her in the eye as she screamed at him while being dragged away by the officers
Otiti: 'but you promised it would be ok'
Lawyer: silence
***
But that was 5 years ago. Somehow she believed God had seen her through years of begging for her father's forgiveness for the shame and embarrassment her conviction had caused, and working odd jobs to support herself. She was done with school and was waiting to start an internship with a prominent investment bank. Things were looking up.......that was until the company went into administration the day she was to resume work.
Now, she was 24 and unemployed, tired of living from hand to mouth and at the insistence of her elder sister, moved back home.
The move to Nigeria had proven to be better than expected. The allowance the internship she had managed to secure gave her was barely enough to get her by every month, but somehow she managed.
But now that internship was coming to an end, and even though it was regular practice to be offered a full time position on completion, she had her doubts as she was sure the head of her unit didn't like her. But now as she absent mindedly clapped her hands to the song the choir was singing, she pushed all her worries out of her mind and comforted herself with Prov 21: 1('The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.').
She dared to believe God had finally delivered her from the storm, in the few months she had been back, by the grace of God, through her sister she had been blessed with a good man, after all that men had done to her she never believed she could trust again but she had personalized Prov 3:5-6 a long time ago and learnt to lean on her own understanding but follow the Lords direction, Pro 20:24 (Man's goings are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?)
So as she walked out of the church building, a half smile on her face she felt a bit apprehensive as her fiancé Osaze had sounded a bit 'funny' when he had asked her to come over.
***
She sat speechless, tears trailing down her face as she looked from her sister Evih to Osaze and back again to Evih, neither of them looking at her.
Otiti: I don't...I don't understand
Evih: What is there not to understand? Is anything i've said a lie? I mean, think about it, how can a harlot such as yourself, having seduced our uncle and my ex boyfriend plan to wear white on your wedding day?! I mean it's simply unheard of!!!!
Otiti looked at Osaze, but he still would not look at her. He still was not saying a word. Smiling, Evih continued.
Evih: Look Otiti, you can't expect to come back to this country, steal Osaze from me and expect me to keep quiet. He has to know the kind of person he is planning to marry.
At that moment, Otiti got up. She didn't know where she would go nor what she would do. Her world that seemed close to perfect 2 hours ago was beginning to crumble. How could her sister who knew her every trial and pain, be doing this to her?! Thoughts that God had abandoned her began to fill her mind, so she began to recite 1Cor 10:13(There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.) over and over in her head as she walked slowly towards the door.
Then Osaze finally spoke.
Osaze: Otiti please sit down. I called you here today so you could hear the accusations your sister has leveled against you, and understand why I never want you to return to her house ever again.
*Silence*
Evih: errrr.hmmmm.buuu....
Osaze: Evih please leave my house. I'm shocked that you have harbored such thoughts for your own sister all this time she was living with you. I can't even begin to think were you got the thought that there was ever an "us" for Otiti to steal me away from.
Shaking his head, Osaze walked over to Otiti, took her hands and hugged her.
Osaze: Otiti you are mine. God had given you to me to cover and protect you. Never doubt my love and commitment to you (*smiling*), it helped that you had told me about your past before your sister tried to poison my mind. Thank you for taking that leap of faith with me.
Otiti: (*sighing*) No.thank you.
***
Ok so today's story is a bit on the lengthy side, but I didn't want to summarize so that you could get a feel for what Otiti went through. What is it that you think you have been through that is so bad that you have given up on God concluding that He has forgotten you!
Isa 49:15-16 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.
As children of God, we cannot afford to be sometimes, maybe worshippers. We shouldn't sing Him praises only when the enemy has been defeated and grumble and complain when God doesn't do what we want, when we want it. That's what the Israelites did. After 430years in Egypt, the Lord arrived to keep His promise to them. To pull them out, but mere days after crossing the red sea they forgot all He had done, and went back to their grumbling.
We must learn to trust God at all times. If He has promised something (and He has promised us so much), He will come through. Do you dare call God a liar? You may not say the words, but sometimes your actions do.
Phil 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say, Rejoice.
The fact that you are alive today, reading this yourself, breathing without medical aid, you have or will eat soon, all the demons and evil spirits walking about have not harmed a single hair on your head..e.t.c are enough reasons to glorify God. Who are we? What have we done that we feel we deserve more? It is all by His grace. So please the next time you think God has abandoned you, that you are earning N2.4 mil per annum and feel you should be earning N5.4, remember you need to be breathing in order to enjoy the pay rise.
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