You are beautiful to God

I came across this video today on the P4CM website and almost shed a few tears. It touched me deeply because it's something I can relate to as I'm sure many other young ladies can. I won't say much, but will let the video speak for itself. 

A word of encouragement though....... the area of your deepest pain is usually the area of your ministry. A dear friend once told me that the harder the test, the greater the testimony. Whatever you are struggling with today, believe God hears you, and He will lift you from the miry clay- it may not be the way or when you expect, but He will show up at the right time. One day soon, your story will encourage others.

Be disciplined. Set and stick to boundaries in every area of your life!

1Peter 5:8 "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour." 

 In this video Joyce Meyer encourages us according to 1Thessalonians 5:22 to flee from every appearance of evil. We are encouraged to set boundaries in every area of a our lives- this keeps us disciplined and is an effective way of helping us overcome temptation, by preventing those temptation causing opportunities from occurring in the first place.



 

Physician heal thyself

As hard as I tried to listen to Bidemi, I couldn’t help but sneak peeks at my watch. I felt for my friend, but her situation was a no brainer. The thing is, she’d recently found out her husband had been having an affair. As expected, Bidemi was completely hurt and embarrassed to find out he’d been cheating on her for the past 3years. She knew they’d been having problems, but she didn’t think things were that bad! 

You see, 4 years ago her husband had been transferred to Abuja. Their marriage survived the distance for almost a year before cracks began to appear. Everything had come to a head a few days ago when she’d received a call from a hospital in Lagos asking her to come there as her husband had just been admitted. She’d thought it was a mistake because her husband was in Abuja. However, when she’d tried to contact him with no luck, she decided to go to the hospital and was shocked to find it was indeed her husband who was on admission. She held off asking for explanations until he'd recovered.

2days ago she’d left the office early to attend her daughter’s ‘Parent Teacher’ day and decided to stop by the hospital on her way to the school, but was unable to reach her husband on the phone- he’d requested she call him before she made her way to the hospital. She’d thought that was strange- but then again he was strange like that. However, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she walked into her husband’s hospital room - a slender light skinned girl bent over him, planting kisses all over his face. The girl quickly introduced herself to my friend as ‘the girlfriend’ who thought Bidemi was ‘the younger sister’ who had been taking care of him. Bidemi stood speechless as ‘The girlfriend’  proceeded to thank her for taking care of him, explaining that she’d been away on an extended all inclusive holiday which ‘he’ had paid for . This was how my friend found out her husband had been transferred back to Lagos 3 years ago and had been playing house with ‘the girlfriend’.

Me: Bidemi believe me, I know how you feel- but the bible is very clear on this issue. As a Christian you just have to forgive him. I know you still love him; he still loves you and is extremely sorry for what happened. You....

Bidemi: Oooooh you can’t understand what I’m going through.  How could he do this to me?! 3 years Chibuzor! 3 whole years.

Getting up, I pulled my best friend into a tight hug. I hated to leave her like this, but I couldn’t stay a minute longer. Fred was going to be home in a few hours and he’d requested I make his favourite meal for a special dinner he wanted to have tonight.

Fred and I had been having problems for a while (if you call 5 years a while), but since my mum passed away 2 months ago he’d really been trying and things seemed to be getting better. I guess my fasting and praying had paid off. The first 2 years of our marriage had been like heaven. Then it was like he literally changed overnight, and I honestly couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. At first I’d thought it was because he’d been given more responsibility at work. But as time passed, things got progressively worse- and all I could do was pray. So although I was sad when my mum passed away 2 months ago, I was glad because Fred’s attitude towards me changed. He seemed more caring and when he’d called today, asking me to pick up ingredients to make his favourite for dinner, my heart leapt with joy.

Me: Sweetheart I’m sorry, but I have to go. This isn’t over. I’ll be back tomorrow. But remember all I’ve said, you just have to find it in your heart to forgive him. Remember what we say....what would Jesus do?

I hugged my friend again and left. In the 30years we’d been friends I’d never seen her down. She was always the strong one. It felt strange having to console her in this way.

*****

“Oh no, oh no, oh no” I mumbled to myself as I pulled into the drive way to find Fred’s car in my parking spot. What was he doing home? He was 5 hours early. I hurriedly got out of the car and rushed into the house with the shopping bags I’d picked up on my way home. I desperately hoped this wouldn’t ruin the beautiful evening we’d planned. I dropped the bags by the front door and made my way straight to our bed room. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw- My husband was leaning over a Ghana must go full of clothes and kissing the average looking girl that was sprawled over my matrimonial bed.

Fred: Oh Chibuzor you are home already?

I was still in shock when he pulled the girl off the bed and whispered in her ear to give us a few minutes.

Fred: I’m sorry you had to see this; I was hoping to be done before you got back from the market.

His mouth was moving, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Was I dreaming or did my husband just kiss a stranger on our matrimonial bed?

Fred: I’ll get straight to it. I want a divorce. You can stay in the guest room till you find alternative accommodation; you obviously can’t stay here with us and.....

Me: Fred is this some sort of a joke? What...

Fred: There’s no use doing this. We are both adults so it doesn’t have to be this way. Truth is I’ve never loved you, and I really never will. Now that I have control of your mother’s company, I see no need to continue this farce of a marriage. My happiest moment in this marriage was when your mother passed away and I knew the company would finally be mine.

At that moment, I snapped. I felt no pride in begging for my marriage. With tears pouring down my face I got on my knees, held on to his leg and begun to beg. This couldn’t be the same man I married. This man who now looked at me with disgust, who allowed his new wife to drag me out of my own room! A room we had both shared for the past 7years.

After what seemed like hours, their voices begun to fade away. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t. Even the tears had stopped flowing. I couldn’t move. That was when I realised - I was having an asthma attack.

*****

The doctor said I was lucky. He said it was a miracle that I survived.  Aunty Labake, my mum’s lawyer had stopped by the hospital a few times, but I wasn’t receiving visitors.  But as I left the hospital, I wondered if I should stop by her place. I was sure she wanted to discuss my brother Chinedu’s situation with Fred. I’d attempted to apologise to Chinedu for getting us all into this mess, but he seemed surprisingly ok about it all. So I asked him to make a quick stop at Aunty Labake’s before taking us home.

*****

I knew I was being dramatic, but I didn’t care.  Chinedu tried to get me off my knees but Aunty Labake asked him to leave me alone. I held that piece of paper tightly in my hand, threw my hands in the air and sang like I never had before. God had taken my shame away with a single piece of paper. The piece of paper that contained the proviso my mother mentioned in her will. The one that stipulates if Fred leaves me at no fault of my own, everything reverts to me until Chinedu is ready to take over.

*****

                                             

As I sat at what used to be Fred’s desk, I wondered how possible it was for me to feel nothing for the man I’d loved for the past 8 years. As he asked me to forgive him and take him back all I could think of was his total disregard for the children and I when he’d watched his new wife drag me out of the house. All I wanted to do was show him the same courtesy he showed me and have security escort him out in a less than dignified manner. On the other hand I thought of the conversation I’d had with Bidemi, how I’d told her to forgive her husband. How can I then turn around and do the opposite? I'm so confused about what to do.

Learning to communicate: Making Time to Talk (4)

Many couples don't take enough time to talk, bond, and firmly connect with each other during the early days of their marriage. If you're a newlywed, you can apply the 24-5 Principle by doing the following:

• Establish a special, exclusive covenant for one year.
• Refrain from all extra responsibilities during that year.
• Focus on and establish your marriage before you move out into career advancement, ministry, and further education.
• Invest in and bond with your spouse emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and sexually.
• Bring happiness to one another; limit your time with others during the first year.

You can expect some resistance from family members and friends on this decision. But ask them to pray for your marriage throughout this first year together.

What if you're asked by your church to take on a major task during that time? One counselor advises his clients to say something like, "Thank you for thinking of us. We're so pleased with the church and so encouraged by all of you. But we've been strongly advised by our counselor to invest in each other this first year of our marriage—to really bond and connect with each other and limit our activities. We promised him we'd do that. But please ask us again in a year or so, okay? We really want to be involved."

What if you're past the one-year mark? You can apply the 24-5 Principle at any time in your marriage. Here are five steps to doing just that:

1.   Keep your promise. Many couples, at their weddings, light a "unity candle" and blow out their individual candles. That symbolizes husband and wife dying to themselves in order to give birth to something new and much more intimate, beautiful, and mysterious—"two becoming one." One of the best ways to become one is to spend time together, and that can happen when you and your spouse talk, celebrate special occasions, set goals, go shopping, pay bills, play tennis, or study a devotional book.

2.   Be intentional and selective. Everyone has the same amount of time—24 hours a day. Avoid being sloppy with yours. Manufacturing more time isn't possible, but you can make excellent use of what you have by allocating time to talk and do things together. When that time comes, make sure you're rested and not rushed or preoccupied. If talking really is a priority for you, you'll say no to time-stealers like sitcoms, reality shows, and the Internet.

3.   Be creative and perseverant. Talk about a variety of subjects—solving problems, overcoming challenges, establishing goals and priorities, your spiritual life, preferences, and just having fun. Start small and build. Some couples tend to have unrealistic expectations. This may result in discouragement, criticism, and blaming. Remember that bonding and connecting don't happen overnight.

4.   Enjoy and encourage uniqueness. You and your spouse aren't alike. Think of how awful and boring it would be to be married to yourself! Those conversations wouldn't be very interesting, would they? As you spend time together, resist the temptation to try remaking your spouse in your image. Let the Holy Spirit transform both of you into the image of Christ. Allow and encourage your spouse to be the person God has created him or her to be, and enjoy that person.

5.   Be loving, respectful, and patient. The gift God has given you and your spouse is each other. In the end, He'll probably be less interested in your professional success or how much money you made than in how you nurtured the gift He gave you in marriage.

Taking time to talk is part of that. Choose wisely how you spend those minutes, hours, and days—especially in your early years together.

by James Groesbeck, Amy Swierczek

The Power of the Praying Wife: We go through the pain to get to the joy

As we prepare to start "The power of the praying wife", please bear in mind that it is not a means of gaining control over your husband. It’s laying down all claim to power in and of yourself, and relying on God’s power to transform you, your husband, your circumstances, and your marriage. It’s a gentle tool of restoration appropriated through the prayers of a wife who longs to do right more than be right, and to give life more than get even.

Praying for your husband will be an act of unselfish, unconditional love and sacrifice on your part. You must make this commitment knowing he may never make the same commitment concerning you- so release him from that obligation. If he doesn't pray for you, it’s his loss more than yours. Your happiness and fulfilment will not ride on whether he prays; it will depend on your own relationship with the Lord.

We don’t have authority over our husbands. However, we have been given authority “over all the power of the enemy” (Luke 10:19) and can do great damage to the enemy’s plans when we pray. But we can say: “I will not allow anything to destroy my marriage”, “I will not sit idle while an invisible wall goes up between us”, “I will not allow confusion, miscommunication, wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we are trying to build together”

You have authority in the name of Jesus to stop evil and permit good. You can submit to God in prayer whatever controls your husband- alcoholism, workaholism, laziness, depression, infirmity, abusiveness, anxiety, fear, bad financial management – and pray for him to be released from it.

The strength of a man and wife joined together in God’s sight is far greater than the sum of the strength of each of the two individuals. That is because the Holy Spirit unites them and gives added power to their prayers. This oneness gives power that the enemy doesn’t like. That why he devises ways to weaken it. He gives us whatever we will fall for- low self esteem, pride, the need to be right, miscommunication, or the bowing to our own selfish desires. He will tell likes like:

“Nothing will ever change”, “You failures are irreparable”, ”There’s no hope for reconciliation”, “You’d be happier with someone else”. – If you believe the lies, your heart will eventually be hardened against God’s truth, and you may be cutting off the future of your marriage. When the heart becomes hardened, there is no vision from God’s perspective, you only see the way it is, not the way God wants it to become.- In such instances, you need to deliberately lay down your life before His throne, die to your desires, pain- and give your needs to Him. When you begin to trust God, you are then able to envision His ability to resurrect love and life from the deadest of places. You will then experience firsthand the resurrecting power of the Lord- the power that raised Christ from the dead in just 3 days!

But it doesn't happen without a heart for God that is willing to gut it out in prayer, grow through tough times, and wait for love to be resurrected. We have to go through the pain to get to the joy. Pray to the Lord for an end to the conflict and breaking hold of the strife in your lives. For Him to take away the hurt and armour you've put up to protect yourselves.

As you begin this journey and discover the power of the praying wife, don’t give place to impatience and don’t worry about how it will happen. It’s your responsibility to pray. It’s God’s job to answer. Leave it in His hands.

Extracted from The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

The Power of the Praying Wife

I don’t know about everyone else, but i’ve been really disturbed by the stories i’ve been hearing in the past year. Last year a guy pretending to be a Pastor brutally murdered his wife, this year another one smashed his wife’s head against the wall and the last i heard over the weekend- a man burnt his wife’s body with a hot iron while she was sleeping!

As saddening as this is, it’s obvious that the enemy is really at war. He knows he can get to people by destroying the foundation of family. But we will not let him, so we will start with our own families. In May, we’ll be praying for our husbands (future husbands for those not married). We’ll be laying down all claim to power in and of ourselves, and relying on God’s power to transform us, our husbands (future husband), our circumstances and our marriages.

                 

This is a way to invite God’s power into our husband’s life for his greatest blessing, which is ultimately ours, too.

We’ll pray for our husbands concerning key areas in their lives, including their....

• ·         spiritual walk
• ·         emotions
• ·         roles as a father, leader, and decision maker
• ·         security in work and finances
• ·         health and physical protection
• ·         faith and his future

To be part of the programme, all you have to do is sign up to the Power of the Praying Wife newsletter (by filling the form below), to receive free daily prayers and scriptures- the programme starts on the 1^st of May.

Remember

Worrying about your marriage changes nothing, but praying about it can change everything.